2 week detox...

–verb (used with object), verb (used without object)
2. to detoxify..

Two weeks with limited communication.. emotions... him.
I have nothing to loose at this point. If doing this makes our relationship back to normal, I'll be the happiest girl every. However, If we both realize we don't miss each other and our lives have in fact gone in separate ways.. at least I won't walk away with any "what ifs...?". Unfortunately I'm terrified of the latter. I can do this... If you love someone you have to let them go.. at least be able to give them space... right? I just need to keep myself busy.

I can do this.
maybe.

tomorrow = day 1.

It's alright, there's beauty in the breakdown.

“You can shed tears that he is gone,
or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him only that he is gone,
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what he'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

I want to go visit him. Considering the days are getting longer and the weather is more inviting, I feel lost. I know he is alive in the beauty of the world around me, but a spirt is such an intangible concept, something I cannot touch or see, only something I can feel. This has still left me at a cross roads of where I stand with God. Again, another intangible thought. Interesting.

Enough for now.

I miss you, Scott.

Contemplative

I just got back from break. I am tempted to invest in a new camera.. one that actually takes decent pictures. Unfortunately I am completely in over my head to even know where to begin when it comes to cameras. I do like editing my photographs though, it's something I've always enjoyed. Perhaps because it captures the beauty in a moment and when reflecting upon that photograph those same feelings reside.

Reelaxxaattiioonnn...

Venice

Remember Who you Are...

Clouds in my Coffee

Clouds in my Coffee

Loose Lips. Inspiration

We're just dancing, we're just hugging,
Singing, screaming, kissing, tugging
On the sleeve of how it used to be
How's it gonna be?
I'll drop kick Russell Stover, move into the starting over house
And know Matt Rouse and jest are watching me achieve my dreams
And we'll pray, all damn day, every day,
That all this shit our president has got us in will go away
While we strive to figure out a way we can survive
These trying times without losing our minds

Shysters live from scheme to scheme And my 4th quarter pipe dreams
Are seeming more and more worth fighting for
So I'll curate some situations, make my job a big vacation
And I'll say "F**k Bush, and f**k this war."
My war paint is sharpie ink and I'll show you how much this shit stinks,
And ask you what you think because your thoughts and words are powerful.
They think we're disposable, well both my thumbs opposable
Are spelled out on a double word and triple letter score

We won't stop until somebody calls the cops,
And even then we'll start again and just Pretend that
Nothing ever happened.

We're just dancing, we're just hugging,
Singing, screaming, kissing, tugging
On the sleeve of how it used to be

Peace Train

I feel at peace with life. As though things are falling into place. However, meanwhile I feel as certain parts of my world are crumbling... the other part which has never been stable for a while is peaceful. Maybe part of it is I have been allowing love into my life. As of late, I have sat in the grass and watched the breeze move each grass clipping, and seeing the world from that perspective has brought me peace. It's rainy now, and I find myself restless and confined. I've learned peace is not about being a place where there is no trouble, noise, or hard work... it means to be in the mist of all those things and be calm in your heart. Slowly, I am getting to that point.

Food For Thought.